Code, nerd culture and humor from Greg Knauss.

So I'm driving to work and I pass one of those car dealerships that line the 405 between LA and Irvine. They've all got big electric signs, three stories tall, that flash prices and specials and the fact that they'll give you free donuts just for stopping by.

Well, the one I'm passing now blinks three ads followed by some random preachy platitude, followed by three more ads. Stupid, stupid stuff. HappyPeppyPerky stuff.

Like:

IMPROVEMENT BEGINS WITH 'I'

And:

1ST DUTY OF [heart] IS TO LISTEN

And:

BIG SHOTS R LITTLE SHOTS WHO KEPT ON SHOOTING

I actually look forward to passing this dealership every day, because just trying to read the sign without rear-ending the guy in front of me is a challenge and, if I manage it, I get to feel hateful and smug.

But today's saying throws me off. It says:

TECHNOLOGY OR PERISH

Technology or perish? What the heck does that mean? Technology or perish. Sheesh.

It's not even a sentence -- it's not even a fragment. "[Noun] or [verb]" doesn't many any grammatical sense. It might as well say BANANA OR WHITTLE. Or CARPET OR FLY-FISH. Or any number of other time-wasting garbage.

Dammit, if you're gonna go flashing sayings at tens of thousands of people a day, you should make sure that it makes sense. I mean, I could set up a big sign and start broadcasting nonsense, too, but I have a sense of social responsibility. I have a sense of common decency. I know that there are people out there with a dangerously off-kilter sense of mental well-being and even the slightest, just the very slightest, oddity may set them off on a five-state killing spree that would leave dozens dead and endless desolation and carnage in its path.

Stupid sign.

Hi there! My name's GREG KNAUSS and I like to make things.

Some of those things are software (like Romantimatic and Buzz Clock), Web sites (like the Webby-nominated Metababy and The American People) and stories (for Web sites like Suck and Fray, print magazines like Worth and Macworld, and books like "Things I Learned About My Dad" and "Rainy Day Fun and Games for Toddler and Total Bastard").

My e-mail address is greg@eod.com. I'd love to hear from you!

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