Code, nerd culture and humor from Greg Knauss.

So I'm in Subway for lunch.

"Can I help you, sir?"

"Yeah. I'd like a foot-long Subway Club, on wheat, please."

"White?"

"Wheat."

He pulls out a short bun and cuts it open.

"I'm sorry," I say, "I said foot-long."

"Foot-long?"

"Foot-long."

He gets a new bun and cuts it open. He scoops up a meatball.

"I wanted the club," I say.

"What?"

"The club."

"Oh," he says and puts the meatball down. He picks up the deli slices and slaps them into the bun.

"Cheese?"

"Everything, please."

"So no cheese?"

"Yes cheese. Everything, please."

"Mayo, mustard?"

"Everything."

"Lettuce and onions?"

"Everything."

"Pickles?"

"Ev-ree-thing."

"Oil and vin--"

"Everything."

He wraps up the sandwich. "Would you like anything else with that?"

"Yeah. A small drink and some Nacho Doritos, please."

"What kind of Doritos?"

"Nacho."

"Ranch?"

"Why, yes," I say. "That would be fine."

Hi there! My name's GREG KNAUSS and I like to make things.

Some of those things are software (like Romantimatic and Buzz Clock), Web sites (like the Webby-nominated Metababy and The American People) and stories (for Web sites like Suck and Fray, print magazines like Worth and Macworld, and books like "Things I Learned About My Dad" and "Rainy Day Fun and Games for Toddler and Total Bastard").

My e-mail address is greg@eod.com. I'd love to hear from you!

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