I -- me, personally, all alone -- am responsible for the entire profitability of the salsa industry.

Every time I go to the store to stock up for making Mexican food, I'll pause in the condiment aisle and think, "Do we have any salsa at home? We must. We have to. We always have salsa at home. We live in Southern California and there's a state law that requires slasa at home.

"But if we don't, I can't make the meal. Damn."

So, of course, I drop a jar into my cart and take it home and open it up and half-empty it and stick it in the fridge, right next to the six other open, half-empty jars I already had.