Code, nerd culture and humor from Greg Knauss.

Joanne believes in the Barney Economic Expediency Exception. If some Barney crap is cheap enough, she'll pick it up, no matter how much I'm going to complain. My little moral or spiritual qualms don't hold a candle to cash in pocket.

Which is why we have some Barney disposable diapers in our baby maintenance arsenal. Even people who use cloth, like we do, need some disposables around for emergencies, and when Target started dumping Barney-tainted crap-catchers on the cheap, Jo grabbed some up.

But that still doesn't excuse the dildo.

Across the front of each diaper is -- of course -- a picture of Barney, happily engaged in some activity: he's painting, or he's looking at the stars, or he's waving around an enormous, ribbed sex toy.

Now, I don't care how cheap these damned things were, that's just wrong. Leave it to the fendish minds behind this twisted purple freak to expose children to--

Oh, wait. If you unfold the diaper, it's just the twine spool for the kite he's flying. Barney's not some diaper-bound sexual deviant -- he's a friendly purple dinosaur who likes to fly kites.

Though, really, I think anybody could have made that mistake.

Hi there! My name's GREG KNAUSS and I like to make things.

Some of those things are software (like Romantimatic and Buzz Clock), Web sites (like the Webby-nominated Metababy and The American People) and stories (for Web sites like Suck and Fray, print magazines like Worth and Macworld, and books like "Things I Learned About My Dad" and "Rainy Day Fun and Games for Toddler and Total Bastard").

My e-mail address is I'd love to hear from you!

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