Code, nerd culture and humor from Greg Knauss.

Things to Do, in Increasing Order of Boredom and Desperation, for Twelve Hours at the Office on a Sunday with Nobody Else There while Waiting for a Grindingly Slow ARCserve to Restore Gigabytes and Gigabytes of Data that Disappeared Saturday Night for No Good Reason: First in a Series

  • Check e-mail

  • Browse all the sites you keep bookmarked

  • Wish you'd brought a book

  • Watch the progress indicator and try to do extrapolations in your head

  • Work on ulcer

  • Check e-mail

  • Browse every site you've ever visited before

  • Curse VonNeumann and his stupid, stupid machine

  • Check e-mail

  • Try to nap

  • Order Chinese for lunch

  • Browse every site you've ever read about, ever heard about or that exist at domains named for common words

  • Order pizza for dinner, six hours early, so it can be put in the fridge and be nice and cold

  • Climb onto desk and lift out acoustical tile, to see what's up there

  • Run up and down hall

  • Run up and down hall, hooting

  • Perform a summersault, even though you are way too old and way too fat

  • Make lots of long-distance calls to friends

  • Make lots of long-distance calls, dialing randomly

  • Check e-mail and curse your loser friends, who all apparently have better things to do than check their e-mail

  • Eat the ice cream that was left in the freezer from the Christmas party

  • Jiggle the handles on all the other suites on the floor

  • Really explore the bathroom

  • Actually read your company's marketing material

  • Smell the furniture, checking to see if the armrests, because they come in contact with skin, are any different than the rest

  • Smell the furniture, just because it's there

  • Toe maintenance!

  • Actually read your own site

Hi there! My name's GREG KNAUSS and I like to make things.

Some of those things are software (like Romantimatic and Buzz Clock), Web sites (like the Webby-nominated Metababy and The American People) and stories (for Web sites like Suck and Fray, print magazines like Worth and Macworld, and books like "Things I Learned About My Dad" and "Rainy Day Fun and Games for Toddler and Total Bastard").

My e-mail address is I'd love to hear from you!

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