Get the hell away from me. It’s early November, you son of a bitch. You don’t belong here. Go away.
The stores are bursting with the syrup of relentless commercial cheer and the TV is moist with profitable yuletide joy and just get the hell away from me. I will not spend the next six weeks listening to your happy, vomitous prattle. I will not spend fully twelve percent of my life with elves and bells and goddamned Santa. I will not.
You get the hell away from me, you bastard. You can come back December 11th. Maybe. Push me and I’ll make it the 18th.
And you’d better bring good stuff.
Hi there! My name's GREG KNAUSS and I like to make things.
Some of those things are software (like Romantimatic and Buzz Clock), Web sites (like the Webby-nominated Metababy and The American People) and stories (for Web sites like Suck and Fray, print magazines like Worth and Macworld, and books like "Things I Learned About My Dad" and "Rainy Day Fun and Games for Toddler and Total Bastard").
My e-mail address is email@example.com. I'd love to hear from you!