I'll See You, Pascal, and Raise You My Immortal Soul The other day, I passed a car that had a "What You Do With Jesus Christ Determines Where You Spend Eternity" bumper sticker and, like most bumper stickers and the philosophies that fit on them, it was distressingly short on specifics. So I did some research -- man, Google is getting good -- and came up with the following definitive, ecclesiastically guaranteed resolutions to various behaviors: What You Do With Jesus Christ Where You Spend Eternity Stuff and mount over fireplace Barstow, CA Get to second base Freezer of a 7-Eleven Eat (non-transmogrified version) Bathroom Hang out, maybe play some video games Jesus's parents' den Use as the subject of smug, morally superior bumper stickers Hell Embrace as the Savior Dead, just like everybody else ★