The other night, I was in Home Depot, buying some damned thing in a futile attempt to keep the house from falling down, when I came across the flowers. Bouquets. In Home Depot. Flowers.

Someone is a genius.

Three types — small mixed, large mixed and roses — all fresh (enough) and pretty and all, sitting right there with the wall-plate screws and drills and plaster. Of course I bought one.

You see these convenience pitches more and more often — snacks in Kinkos, banks in supermarkets — where something is put somewhere it doesn’t belong, just because it’s going to trigger your feeble, deflated memory. You say, “Hey… I need that” and you pay a premium for it and everybody ends up happy. Bouquets in Home Depot. For the absent-minded jackass. Perfect.

Now if I could just buy an anniversary gift in Team Fortress 2, I’d be set.