An Entirely Other Day
An Entirely Other Day
None of Your Goddamned Business
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Jas Gets His Man

So I'm out for my run, listening to "Texas Rangers" on the KNX Drama Hour. In tonight's episode, Jas and Leeds are tracking down an escaped killer. Da da!

The Rangers are informed by a guy talking through a tube that the killer has only one known acquaintance, a woman that, ahem, he is not married to. She's not at her last known address and left no forwarding information. So, Jas, knowing the best way to find a woman, gives the order:

"Check any cosmetics mail-order suppliers for her name."

Well, of course.

So they find her and intimidate her into letting them search her apartment. Inside they find candy wrappers, and sweets are a known habit of the killer. Lifesavers were stolen from a nearby gas station.

"It ain't no crime eatin' candy," says the woman.

"Yeah," says Jas, "but you've got a 30-day diet tacked to the wall over there, and from the looks of your figure, you've been followin' it."

The dame folds like a wet paper napkin.

I don't think it was satire.

April 16, 1994 00:00 AM
All contents copyright © 1994-2006 Greg Knauss. Page design by Lance Arthur, who appears as a condition of his parole.