So it's two in the morning and I'm flipping around the TV, waiting for my insomnia to get bored so I can beat it to death with an axe.

I've watched Headline News three times in a row.

KTTV is showing Stooges shorts, but they're all got Shemp in them.

Beautiful women want to talk to me.

Telesmundo -- way, way up beyond where all the normal channels live -- is showing "WarGames," dubbed into Spanish.

So I watch it to the end.