So Joanne and I are sitting in her car, edging carefully into the little building behind the gas station that's going to give us a free car wash. The green light at the far end clicks over to red as I pull up into a dock for the front tires and with a buzz, it starts.

Thick drops begin to slash on the windshield and I put my arm around Joanne and pull her close and say, "It's just like the beach on a rainy night..."

Suddenly, huge brushes appear from nowhere, swooping down and in, and begin to approach the car, all whirring, spinning menace.

"...with," I continue, "giant, red-tentacled monsters banging on the windows."