So I'm walking along Santa Monica Boulevard, when a van comes rolling towards me, driving slowly and purposefully. It's light brown, sun-bleached, and painted on the sides are enormous white and red letters, proof that being pious doesn't mean you can rhyme:

READ THE BIBLE
WHILE YOU'RE ABLE

The roof is festooned with loudspeakers, all pointing helter-skelter, and the driver holds a microphone to his lips. As the van passes, he looks directly at me and solemnly intones, "Jezzzx Kkrsswst esz Lxrzd! Rxzenz yxzr sxnnz anz rezxeze exeernzz lefzz nz Hezzxn!"

I figure he was speaking in Tongues.