And here I thought technology was supposed to make complex tasks -- like, say, knowing what time it is -- easier. But instead, the clock in the kitchen says 9:03; the clock in the den says 8:03; the clock in the bedroom, for reasons known only to my wife, says 9:18; and the clock in the corner of the screen on the paused morning show says 8:46.

Of course, no matter which is right, I'm still late for work.