One of the gifts that Joanne and I are getting for Mikey -- geez, I hope he doesn't read this site -- is called Baby Smartronics Alphabet Nest-a-mals.

Yes, "nest-a-mals."

I'll just let that soak in for a second.

Some marketing guy somewhere took nesting cups with pictures of animals on them and used his Yale MBA to come up with "nest-a-mals." For which he was paid enough to support his cocaine habit.

I mean, seriously. How does something like that actually get out onto the streets? Was it a sarcastic suggestion that got out of hand? Was it some sort of industrial sabotage? There are enough jokes in that name -- "That's the worst case of nest-a-mals I've ever seen!" "Ouch! I was just kicked in the nest-a-mals!" -- to cause a perfectly happy woman to start punching her husband in the arm while telling him to shut up, just shut up, God.

Trust me on this.