Tom got a photosensitive Big Bird for Christmas. You put your hands over its eyes -- or eye, the photo-cell is on the left -- and take them away, and it says, in Big Bird's happy sing-song, "Peek-a-boo!"

Only the damned thing can't tell the difference between toddler hands disappearing and a switch being thrown. So I keep coming downstairs in the middle of the night, turning on the light and freezing with stark terror as the crazed psycho who was hiding in the dark polishing his axe says, in Big Bird's happy sing-song, "Peek-a-boo!"