Joanne is doing the books and I'm eating some chips -- which should give you a pretty good idea about how the chores are split up around our house -- and she looks up at me and says, "It's a good thing you're a lazy-ass. The money market your 401(k) is in went up five percent. The mutual fund I asked you to transfer it into a year ago is down ten."

"Don't think of my ass as lazy," I say. "Think of it as a prudent financial analyst."