Like most people -- and by "most people," I mean Joanne and I -- Joanne and I can't help but give our kids embarrassing Mafia nick-names.

For a while, maybe five or six months after he was born, Tom got tagged as "Thomas Two-Diaper," because he'd invariably re-wet himself, right after being changed.

As he got stronger, he took to squirming around as much as humanly possible, usually when we were in the best position to drop him. So: "Tommy the Fish."

And since Mike has recently started to waggle his head back and forth when he gets tired, we call him "Mikey No-No."

I'm sort of hoping the novelty of this rubs off before they get to high school. But I doubt it will.