The Baby Bjorn is a wonderful invention, and near the only way I can wrangle Mike while keeping up with Tom when we're out in public and I'm not allowed to use duct tape. Basically a marsupial pouch for humans, it mounts like a backpack in reverse and lets you hang a baby in it, his face forward, his hands out and his legs free to do whatever they want.

And when you're at the park and the kid gets excited by all the sights and noises and smells and starts flailing around, they want to kick you in the crotch.