August 23, 2000 Hello, kids! And welcome to Fun-Time Story Theatre! Once, long ago, in a faraway land, there was a mommy and a daddy and two little boys and a doggie. They all lived together in a pretty house that had a lawn and windows and a porch. Every night, their porch was visited by a mysterious stranger that they had named Bernard, the Gastrointestinally Unhappy Cat. Bernard always left a present for the daddy. And every morning, the daddy would open the door of the house to go get the newspaper, discover Bernard's present and mutter an expletive. Then he would hose everything down. The end! ★