Code, nerd culture and humor from Greg Knauss.

So I'm out for my run, listening to "Texas Rangers" on the KNX Drama Hour. In tonight's episode, Jas and Leeds are tracking down an escaped killer. Da da!

The Rangers are informed by a guy talking through a tube that the killer has only one known acquaintance, a woman that, ahem, he is not married to. She's not at her last known address and left no forwarding information. So, Jas, knowing the best way to find a woman, gives the order:

"Check any cosmetics mail-order suppliers for her name."

Well, of course.

So they find her and intimidate her into letting them search her apartment. Inside they find candy wrappers, and sweets are a known habit of the killer. Lifesavers were stolen from a nearby gas station.

"It ain't no crime eatin' candy," says the woman.

"Yeah," says Jas, "but you've got a 30-day diet tacked to the wall over there, and from the looks of your figure, you've been followin' it."

The dame folds like a wet paper napkin.

I don't think it was satire.

Hi there! My name's GREG KNAUSS and I like to make things.

Some of those things are software (like Romantimatic and Buzz Clock), Web sites (like the Webby-nominated Metababy and The American People) and stories (for Web sites like Suck and Fray, print magazines like Worth and Macworld, and books like "Things I Learned About My Dad" and "Rainy Day Fun and Games for Toddler and Total Bastard").

My e-mail address is greg@eod.com. I'd love to hear from you!

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