Code, nerd culture and humor from Greg Knauss.

So I'm on the phone with the machine of a woman I just started dating and I'm trying to sound casual and confident.

Half way through my message -- "If you've got some free time this week, let's go see a movie" -- my call-waiting beeps. I quickly finish up my message -- "Gimme a call" -- and click over to the other line.

It's Corlan, my professional-gambler ex-roommate and he's calling to find out if I'm going to watch the Simpsons. Sure. He's gonna come over and bring some Mexican food.

I hang up and a second later the phone rings. I pick it up and say:

"Hello? Hellooooo? Hello! Hi, there! Foo! You called m--"

And I realize that call-waiting will ring your phone if you hang up and the other party hasn't. I realize that I'm still talking to a phone machine. I realize that everything I say is getting added right after my casual and confident message.

"--Ah. Um. Call-waiting. Er. The ph-- I, ah, um. Heh."

And I hang up.

I'm so smooth.

Hi there! My name's GREG KNAUSS and I like to make things.

Some of those things are software (like Romantimatic and Buzz Clock), Web sites (like the Webby-nominated Metababy and The American People) and stories (for Web sites like Suck and Fray, print magazines like Worth and Macworld, and books like "Things I Learned About My Dad" and "Rainy Day Fun and Games for Toddler and Total Bastard").

My e-mail address is greg@eod.com. I'd love to hear from you!

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