Code, nerd culture and humor from Greg Knauss.

The technician is taking a sonogram of my crotch.

When my kidneys start to brew up stones -- as both are doing right at this moment; rah! -- the pain manifests itself first in my groin, as a low throb. The doctor take some sort of malevolent, malpractice-inspired joy in being a completist, so after my lower back is checked to see how many little calcium nuggets are about to tear their way down my ureter, he also check anything else that happens to be exposed.

The process involves cold goo, about ten minutes of prodding and a lot of awkward staring at the ceiling. The tech fiddles with the monitor and prints out screen captures.

"Everything looks good on this end," he says as he finishes up.

Which I take as a diagnosis and a compliment.

Hi there! My name's GREG KNAUSS and I like to make things.

Some of those things are software (like Romantimatic and Buzz Clock), Web sites (like the Webby-nominated Metababy and The American People) and stories (for Web sites like Suck and Fray, print magazines like Worth and Macworld, and books like "Things I Learned About My Dad" and "Rainy Day Fun and Games for Toddler and Total Bastard").

My e-mail address is I'd love to hear from you!

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