Code, nerd culture and humor from Greg Knauss.

A failed McSweeney's submission:






By removing every other word: "Oh, gosh! Diana human. Had just the of. My, is, isn't? I it that is once for. I to any these books, they Diana anyone. These may a but won't with dollars." -- C.K. Davidson, Bothell, Wash.

By abbreviating words: "Pr. Will. and his fam. think is mo.'s trust has been bet. by Pat. Jephson. I dis. App., mem. of the roy. fam. are quick to expect loy. but find it diff. to ach. themselves. Mr. Jephson was a paid emp., not a fr." -- Glenn A. Johnson, Balitmore

By removing words over four letters: "If the you are any of the 'dark side' of that the is to, I say this guy does not know! Men, mood and mean to an all like to me. I know I can. For sake, was and a, to PMS like the rest of us." -- Sharon Grabowski, Elk Grove Village, Ill.

By replacing names with mysterious initials: "Excuse CK, but 39 mumbling words is what PM describe[s] as PW's 'firing back' at the ME's exploitation of his late MO? My GD, I've used more words defending my DG to the NE. PM

seem[s] to have the ridiculous idea that if PM gush[es] enough over those measly 39 words, we the RDs will be fooled into thinking PW is actually something PM desperately want[s] PW to be: a shining, caring, charismatic

replica of his MO. Well, PW isn't. PW is a nice, slightly boring, well-intentioned and utterly banal person who is not now or ever will become what his MO was. By the way, 'uhm' is not a word. Correct that 39 to 38." -- Carolyn Ekstedt, San Francisco

Hi there! My name's GREG KNAUSS and I like to make things.

Some of those things are software (like Romantimatic and Buzz Clock), Web sites (like the Webby-nominated Metababy and The American People) and stories (for Web sites like Suck and Fray, print magazines like Worth and Macworld, and books like "Things I Learned About My Dad" and "Rainy Day Fun and Games for Toddler and Total Bastard").

My e-mail address is I'd love to hear from you!

This site is powered by Movable Type. Spot graphics provided by Thomas, Michael and Peter Knauss.