“OK, dude, I’m sorry. But you seriously need to get over it.”

“I know! I’ve tried. I… can’t.”

“Yes, you can. Look at you! What the hell are you doing mooning over some chick? It’s embarrassing.”

“You don’t understand.”

“I do. Everybody does. Get over it.”

“But she’s… so hot.”

“Yeah. I know. Which is exactly why you’re never going to get anywhere. She’s taken.”

“Maybe if I—”

“No. Seriously. Stop it.”

“She gave me a bit of her hair…”

“Yeah. About that. Creepy.”

“And I nearly had to kick that guy’s ass—”

“Stop. Not a good thing. You’ve spent the whole trip acting like a love-struck idiot.”

“Idiot? Idiot? I am Gimli, son of Gloin, and the Lady Galadriel of Lothlorien—”

“Dude. Let it go.”