Code, nerd culture and humor from Greg Knauss.

John Moe, of Weekend America, did a great profile of the head (and only paid member) of Ron Paul’s Montana campaign on Saturday. David Hart is clearly insane, and you can’t help but love him for it.

[H]e sees some deep-seated problems in the country and he feels a sense of urgency. “I began researching things like the Federal Reserve System and some of the elite organizations that are kind of like the man behind the curtain in the Wizard of Oz. You’ve got organizations that have a lot of power in this nation and control the way things work. And when I started digging into that further, I realized that it wasn’t just conspiracy theory, it was reality. And there’s a lot of truth to some of these, quote, conspiracy theories that are out there.”

I asked him which ones.

“Well, like the Council on Foreign Relations,” he said. “Back in 1989 when I first learned about this organization, it was hard to get anyone in mainstream media to even acknowledge that it existed. Now it’s talked about very freely and openly. But their objective is not for the well-being of the American people or the sovereignty of this nation. They’ve got an agenda that erodes our sovereignty and leads us more toward global government.”

The Council on Foreign Relations did not return a phone call requesting comment for this story.

Later, another Paul supporter goes after Big, Um, Linguistic Theory:

Clarice Ryan is retired and has concerns about education. “The first step is getting rid of phonics because with phonics you can’t read. And if you can’t read, you can’t learn. There’s always been people trying to take over the world since the Roman Empire days.”


[L]ibertarianism presents some political challenges. Judy Campbell recalls a conversation with a potential supporter who wasn’t registered to vote. “So I gave him a voter registration card, and I said take care of that, and I’ll see you later. And he said, ‘No. I won’t register to vote because I don’t want the government knowing who I am and what my business is.’ And so this is a problem with Montanans.”

So. The Council on Foreign Relations, phonics, off-the-grid paranoia. You throw chem-trails and precious bodily fluids in there and I think I’ve found my candidate for 2008.

It rained all last night, and this morning the ground was still wet when I went outside to the car, the air thick and deadening. And when I heard the heavy whump-whump-whump of the helicopter overhead, hidden above the gray clouds, I did a quick circular sweep of the sky and tried to pull out the rocket launcher.

Which, of course, I didn’t actually, y’know, have.

I’m finally playing Half-Life 2 (yes, yes, late), and the goddamned thing is seeping into the real world. I know at some point someone is going to throw a whole, plucked chicken at me and I’ll freak out and start beating it with a crowbar.

The last time this happened, I’d been playing a lot of Battlefield 2 and couldn’t look out the window of my office without seeing a sniper cross-hair superimposed over the people down on the sidewalk.

Which wasn’t all that different than normal, actually.

The boys and I have a game we play, every single morning.

I say, “Put your shoes on” and they say, “OK.” I then come back five minutes later and say, “Why aren’t your shoes on?” and they say, “I couldn’t find them.” I then say, “You didn’t even look, did you?” and they say, “Yes, I did! I looked everywhere!”

I then say, “I’m now going to spend fifteen seconds looking for your shoes,” and I do, and I find them, very often in the same room that we’re standing in.

It’s not a very fun game.

Taking cell-phone pictures of the top of your head to see if you really are as balding as people say.

Greg Knauss: You’re like the white, male Oprah.
Michael Genrich: Oh, Christ. Do I have to sleep with Stedman?
Greg Knauss: And do that thing he likes.
Michael Genrich: I have but one tongue.
Greg Knauss: That’s what the surgery will fix. hotdogsladies: Viggo Mortensen has completely changed the way I think about insanely brutal nude fight scenes.
Greg Knauss: You just see Merlin’s Twitter?
Greg Knauss: Somehow my various direct and async conversations are lining up.
Michael Genrich: I…
Michael Genrich: Uh, I am not sure what to say.
Greg Knauss: Also, the phrase “Merlin’s Twitter.”

Hi there! My name's GREG KNAUSS and I like to make things.

Some of those things are software (like Romantimatic), Web sites (like the Webby-nominated Metababy and The American People) and stories (for Web sites like Suck and Fray, print magazines like Worth and Macworld, and books like "Things I Learned About My Dad" and "Rainy Day Fun and Games for Toddler and Total Bastard").

My e-mail address is I'd love to hear from you!

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