Code, nerd culture and humor from Greg Knauss.

Subject: Kind Attention, From (FBI USA)
From: Agent Larry Hans (FBI) []

20535-0001, USA .

Kind Attention,

We believe this notification meets you in a very good state of mind and health. The FEDERAL BUREAU OF INVESTIGATION (FBI) Washington, D.C United States of America in conjunction with some other relevant Investigative Agencies here in the USA have recently been informed through our Global intelligence monitoring network that you have a pending FUND transaction with a Bank regarding to an over-due Inheritance / Award payment which was fully endorsed to be paid in your favor.

It might interest you to know that we have taken out time in screening through this whole transaction as stipulated on our protocol of operation and have finally confirmed that BARCLAYS BANK PLC, is the authorized financial institution scheduled to make your payment in line with their remittance requirements. Several investigations by us have shown that you have been dealing with some unauthorized persons and banks regarding the transfer of these funds to your bank account.

Our UK attachee agent recently had a meeting with the Manager of BARCLAYS BANK PLC, in the person of MR. NAIL WIHTE along with some other top officials of BARCLAYS BANK PLC, regarding your case and they made us to understand that your file has been held in abase pending when you personally file for your claims. They intimated him that the only problem they are facing right now is that some unscrupulous element are using this project as an avenue to scam innocent people off their hard earned money by impersonating to be STAFF OF BANKS and its affiliates.

We were also made to understand that a lady with name Mrs. Joan C. Bailey from Ohio, United Of America has already contacted them and also presented to them all the necessary documentations evidencing your claim purported to have been signed personally by you prior to the release of your funds to her, though they insisted on hearing from you personally before they could go ahead on wiring the funds to the Bank information provided by the above named Lady. It is basically one of the main reasons why they contacted us, to enable us assist them in carrying out proper investigation and subsequently informing you of their mandate to Remitting your funds.

Most importnatly, We advise that you discontinue further dealings with any person or organization posing as staff or affiliate of any bank or agency concerning the transfer of your funds. In your own interest, You are advised to immediately contact BARCLAYS BANK PLC, LONDON on the following details for the onward remittance of your funds.

ADDRESS: P. O. BOX 738, Eagle Court 75 King Street, Hammersmith London, W6-9HY, U. K.
Direct Tel: +(44) 207-1797777.
Tel / Fax: +(44) 7005-942-285.
Private Banking Section: +(44) 703-1818003.
Official Website:

Ensure that you comply to all their remittance procedures and also furnish them with your full details (Full names and address, direct telephone and fax numbers, source of funds,Expected Amount, etc) to enable them in their verification processes before the release of your funds.

Best Regards,
Agent Larry Hans.
Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI) Washington DC, USA.

  • Of course, the very first actual Texan I saw in Texas had a Zapata.
  • The phrase “Keep Austin Weird” seems to mainly apply to the design of the Convention Center. I think it’s a tesseract. “OK, you need to talk through that door in the ceiling, turn around and come right back through it. That’s the third level. Then, you need to believe you’re in Room 9.”
  • Texas apparently still thinks it’s still its own country.
  • The shoeshine stand at the Austin airport has different rates for shoes and boots. I guess it comes up a lot.
  • “Star” appears to be the prevailing decorative theme.
  • Whoever scheduled “Bridal Events of Distinction” to be in the Convention Center overlapping South by Southwest Interactive has a wonderful, evil sense of humor. One ballroom on the ground floor was packed with pert-nosed, steely-eyed Texas belles, working towards the fantasy wedding they’ve had planned since they were four. And just down the hall were frizzy-haired, haphazardly bathed geeks crawling on the floor and playing in the Lego pile.
  • The bellhops at the Radisson wear big, black, stupid cowboy hats. In case, y’know, someone has to check some cattle.

Hi there! My name's GREG KNAUSS and I like to make things.

Some of those things are software (like Romantimatic), Web sites (like the Webby-nominated Metababy and The American People) and stories (for Web sites like Suck and Fray, print magazines like Worth and Macworld, and books like "Things I Learned About My Dad" and "Rainy Day Fun and Games for Toddler and Total Bastard").

My e-mail address is I'd love to hear from you!

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