MEAT DAD
I'm in the drive-through line at McDonalds -- because if I don't deforest the Amazon, who will? -- and the SUV in front of me has the license plate "VEG KIDZ".
And I can only imagine the cruelest father in the world, raising his kids vegetarian so he can then strap them into the car, go grab a Big Mac and eat it in front of them.
I wish I'd thought of that.
June 11, 2006 10:28 AM
Sadly, These Are Not Hair-Control Products
Though now I'm afraid that iPods and Virgin Mobile phones will electrocute me.
June 08, 2006 09:40 AM
You Know What's Awesome? Me! I'm Awesome!
You know what today is? Today is Unjustified Self-Esteem Day! Isn't that great? Today is the day that you cast aside the insecurity, the doubts, the tiny nagging voice that tells you that you have no idea what you're doing and soon -- any second now -- everybody is going to find out and point and laugh and make you want to curl into a little ball and die. Oh, no. Today is the day that you can fully embrace whatever half-assed notion occurs to you -- Unjustified Self-Esteem Day, for instance -- and insist against all arguments and odds that it's a great idea! How could it be anything else? You thought of it, and you're just an incredibly amazing person! You can do no wrong! You are a churning juggernaut of unjustified self-esteem! You are great.
Unless you're the sort of person who feels unjustified self-esteem on a regular basis. Then it's Fully-Justified Self-Loathing Day. Try spending some time where you belong, jackhole.
June 08, 2006 00:04 AM
